Row row row your boat

So today is Father’s Day so I wanted to write a heartfelt post about The Husband because I’m so thankful that he made all of these beautiful children for me to love and care for. I wanted to thank him….even though I’m the one that had to carry them for nine months, ruin my body, go through the absolute terror of labor, and then do most of their day-to-day care….but yeah, I wanted to thank him for, you know, going through all of that trouble of spending five minutes doing something he seems to enjoy so that we could get all of these kids.  I wanted to illustrate my post with a photo of him with all three kids, exhibiting all of his stellar paternal attributes, but I couldn’t find such a photo because it doesn’t exist. Soooooo I decided to scrap all of that and write a post about something he truly loves: fishing.

The Husband doesn’t get to go fishing often because he has a job and a family and he enjoys fishing but not enough to get fired or divorced. But he does love it on those rare occasions when he gets to go. A few years ago, I decided to go for the Wife of the Year Award and I bought a fishing boat for his Valentine’s Day present. He thought it was pretty cool until he realized that I had financed it and he now had to work overtime for the next two years to make the payments. Happy Valentine’s Day, dear.

Anyway, he hasn’t gotten to use it much for the reasons I listed above (unemployment, divorce, mandatory overtime). I refuse to go on it because the one time I did,  it ended in him yelling at me while I helplessly drifted out on the lake because he failed to teach me how to drive it before he left me in it alone to go retrieve the truck and trailer.

So this weekend, he decided to go out for a fishing outing. I knew this was a recipe for disaster because he was just coming off of a twelve-hour night shift and he gets weird when he hasn’t had enough sleep (migraines, puking, talking crazy, stumbling around etc.). Despite my concerns, he and his buddy headed out to the reservoir. I don’t know much about boats, but from what I understand, this is what happened next:

Once they got the boat unloaded, the main motor wouldn’t work. They decided to use the “trolling motor” but then the wind picked up and it wasn’t strong enough to get them to where they were going. They then spent quite some time rowing (by hand) the motorized fishing boat across the 12,000 acre Salamonie Reservoir. Keep in mind The Husband hasn’t slept in about 26 hours at this point.  Once they got to their destination, The Husband spent some time trying to determine why the main motor wasn’t working – checking the spark plugs, etc. This went on for quite a while before they finally figured out the problem.  The boat has a kill switch that is supposed to be attached to the driver to shut off the boat in the event the driver is thrown from the vessel. This switch apparently has the added benefit of making the boat too difficult to operate for stupid people and/or people who have not slept in the last 26 hours. After quite some time of rowing and maintenance, The Husband flipped this switch, the motor started right up, and they were able to drive the boat right back to the dock without manual rowing.

So, The Husband celebrated Father’s Day weekend with 36 hours of work, two hours of rowing, and maybe ten hours of intermittent sleep if he’s lucky finished off with a to-do list a mile long to fill his days off. Happy Father’s Day!

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