Cut my life into pieces

As you may have figured out, Boy Two sometimes has a bit of a problem with impulse control (or lack thereof). He sees a button, he’s going to push it. He sees a ledge, he’s going to jump off of it. This natural inquisitiveness could translate into several productive careers – inventor, detective – but in elementary school, it’s somewhat of an issue.

I always cringe as I make the annual purchase of the “Fiskars student scissors.” I’m sure you can figure out where I’m going with this post. If Boy Two has a pair of scissors, he’s going to cut.

The teachers mandate that the scissors be Fiskars because they are safe for students but still nice and sharp. Nearly every article of clothing Boy Two owns has at least one v-shaped snip mark in it. I got mad the first 20 times. Now I don’t even care.

He’s also given himself a few haircuts during school with the Fiskars. I’m just waiting for the day that he has scissors in hand when he spies that long pony tail on the girl sitting in front of him.There is absolutely no chance he’ll pass up that opportunity.

Last year, his teacher sent home a sandwich bag holding his shoe strings with a note:

I’m sorry, but he cut his shoe strings off during reading. By the time I saw what he was doing, it was too late.

SHE apologized to ME for my crazy kid cutting his shoe strings off. If I were her, this is how my note would have read:

Your psycho kid cut his shoe strings off during class today. Who does that?! What is wrong with this kid!?

And that’s why I’m not a teacher.

Anyway, Fiskars is a solid brand of scissors. They will cut through any type of fabric – even denim. That no longer surprises me but this does:

Mom: Did you pop that big pimple he had on his forehead?

Me: No, I didn’t see it.

Boy Two: Oh, I took care of it. I cut it with my scissors at school.

I would not have guessed that Fiskars scissors would be useful in a pimple extraction, but he got it done. Way to go, Edward Scissorhands. Always a good idea to start cutting up your face with scissors.

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